Meet the League
The OGs
ALEX LOVELESS
BIG APPLE BALLERZ
Height: 6′ 0″ Weight: 180 lbs College: Villanova University
Founding member 2011-2012 Champion
All-Time Favorite Fantasy Basketball Player: ‘The Matrix” Shawn Marion
Alex made his Seoul Slammers debut at the league’s inception, dominating the then-roto landscape with a well-balanced squad. While he has yet to take home the ‘ship since then, he’s made numerous appearances in the Seoul Slammers finals and consistently puts forward a competitive team.
This year, keepers LaMelo Ball and Tyrese Maxey will anchor a dangerous Bill Apple Ballerz backcourt that’s looking to win now. Keep an eye out for this crafty veteran, as he’s always got a couple of tricks up his sleeve.
OHUDY LUNA
DAD BOD
Height: ‘ ” Weight: lbs College:
Founding member 2020-2021 Champion
All-Time Favorite Fantasy Basketball Player: Nikola Jokic
ALEX HARNEY
CLUTCH CITY
Height: 6′ ” Weight: lbs College:
Founding member 2017-2018 Champion
All-Time Favorite Fantasy Basketball Player: Spencer Hawes
A former champ who was a chump in 2021, Clutch City is looking to right the wrongs of last season and show the league that he’s still got it.
An original member of the league who first drafted in a chicken shop in Seoul way back in 2011, he is looking to add a second championship to his name. The one player who will never grace his team ever again is Nurkic, who cost him a place in the finals one year (which he would have won, without even making a waiver wire move) after some truly atrocious free throw shooting on Sunday night. Luckily, he’s not bitter about that at all.
NATE WALKER
NAHA MONKEY LIZARDS
Height: 5′ 10″ Weight: 160 lbs College: Minnesota State University – Mankato
Founding member 2014-2015 Champion
All-Time Favorite Fantasy Basketball Player: Kobe Bryant
From the streets of Naha to the beaches in Busan,
The Monkey Lizards legacy can never be undone.
Nate Walker helms the illustrious squad,
Making moves described as an act of god.
It’s been a while since he had a title under his belt,
It’s time he stands up, he ain’t no Roosevelt.
Goodbye Westbrick and Adios Street Clothes,
He’s shipping Lebron’s baggage to draft some real pros.
For keepers he’s gotta couple young guns coming back,
Jamal Murray and James Wiseman gonna help him talk smack.
The Riders of Rohan out of the blue won the league,
But just like the Three Hunters, they’re gonna fatigue.
Naha Monkey Lizards are the cream of the crop,
Before you know it they’ll be back on top.
The Seasoned Veterans
ANDREW BORDEN
TALKIN BOUT PRACTICE
Height: 6′ ” Weight: lbs College: Rutgers University
Joined 2012 2x Champion (2016-17, 2018-19)
All-Time Favorite Fantasy Basketball Player: Allen Iverson
This human/saiyan/bacon amalgam somehow managed to become sentient about 36 years and stumble its way into two Seoul Slammers championships. He’s a Sixers fan who is still “Trust(ing) the Process” even though their years of tanking have nothing to show for it. Like Luke in A New Hope, Tyrese Maxey is the only chance that the Sixers have to win a championship.
With keepers Desmond Bane and Rob “Timelord) Williams, Team Talkin Bout Practice has a chance to compete, especially later on in the season once Williams comes back from injury. But is anyone really rooting for this guy?
DAVID KIM
WE THE NORTH
Height: ‘ ” Weight: lbs College: University
Joined 2015 Best Finish: 2nd place 2018-19
All-Time Favorite Fantasy Basketball Player: Kyle Lowry
David Kim joined the league in 2015 and hit the ground running as a fierce competitor. His love of the Seoul Slammers is only surpassed by his love of the Toronto Raptors. Did I mention that he’s a Raptors fan?
His team last year rostered the entire starting lineup for the Raptors minus Fred VanVleet, who he tried vigorously to trade for. We the North’s keepers this year will include Raptors (surprise) Scottie Barnes and Pascal Siakam, and he’ll likely be bidding up those prices for the rest of the Raptors lineup. Raptors. Rawr!
ROBBIE NGUYEN
DREAM SHAKE WEIGHT
Height: 6′ ” Weight: lbs College: University of Texas – Austin
Joined 2018 Best Finish: 2nd place 2020
All-Time Favorite Fantasy Basketball Player: Hakeem Olajuwan
Robbie was born and raised in Houston and currently resides in Seoul, where he owns and operates a few bars, so his liver is no bueno. He’s a diehard Rockets fan and Clutch City kid, and witnessed the great Hakeem Olajuwon carry the city on his back and deliver two championships to H-town! If Hakeem’s Rockets and Jordan’s Bulls would have met in the finals, he’d bet the house that the Rockets would’ve taken it!
He’s the same age as LeBron James and hopes to continue his athletic career as long as LeBron does. Although, he gets paid millions for his services and Robbie has to pay to play. 1984 is probably the best basketball year of all time; it included Hakeem and Jordan in the same draft class and Lebron and Robbie were born that year!
The New Blood
DREW FOERDER
HEBREW HAMMERS
Height: ‘ ” Weight: lbs College: University
Joined 2020 Best Finish: 4th place 2021
All-Time Favorite Fantasy Basketball Player: Stephen Curry
After a rough debut season, Drew‘s “Hebrew Hammers” pounded the competition in year two all year long to run away with the regular season title in wire to wire fashion. Leading the league in transactions, Drew has the “trifecta” of knowledge, Warriors season tickets to see players in person, and an uncanny ability to find diamonds in the rough. Look out for the hammer, before you find yourself smashed into submission!
DAVID YOUNG
FLINT TROPICS
Height: 6′ ” Weight: lbs College: Michigan State University
Joined 2020 Best Finish: 5th place 2020
All-Time Favorite Fantasy Basketball Player: Chauncey Billups
Jackie Moon always gives himself… a fantastic introduction.
It’s his team, his money and his tunnel of beautiful ball girls. Oh speaking of money Lou did you get paid this week? You lose weight Father Pat?
Fuck off Jackie.
All right guys huddle up. Vakidis!
What is he doin’? You know what? Fuck it. Listen I promised these fans a show tonight all right? Twiggy, if you get a dunk tonight try to break that backboard all right?
Let’s bring it in, it’s showtime right? Let’s get…
Tropical! Go Tropics!
ROWAN FEENEY
THE RIDERS OF ROHAN
Height: ‘ ” Weight: lbs College: University
Joined 2021 2021-22 Seoul Slammers Champion
All-Time Favorite Fantasy Basketball Player: Steven Adams
Reigning Seoul Slammers rookie of the year, Rowan, took last season’s trophy with a well-balanced squad that was able to remain relatively healthy all season. This makes him the most successful New Zealand born GM after Sean Marks and his 2 NBA rings.
This year the Riders of Rohan look to go back-to-back and with young keepers Cam and Keldon Johnson both poised for breakout seasons, the team won’t go down easy.
DANNY LEE
SAD TWOLVES FAN
Height: 6′ ” Weight: lbs College: University
Joined 2021 2021-22 Seoul Slammers Champion
All-Time Favorite Fantasy Basketball Player: Kevin Garnett
The Timberwolves are the owners the worst overall winning percentage of all the teams in the 4 major North American sports leagues. Managing the team “Sad Twolves Fan”, Danny kept this proud tradition of failure alive by missing the playoffs, and many mid-season add/drop blunders on the way there.
As David Kahn (probably) once said, “Losing isn’t everything, it’s the only thing,” Danny expects more of the same for this coming season. If you see drops of water coming out of my eyes, I’ll tell you “it’s allergies, lots of pollen in the air today”, but we will both know that it’s just tears.
DEMOND TIMMONS
WAKANDA FOREVER
Height: ‘ ” Weight: lbs College: University
Joined 2022 Best Finish: none
All-Time Favorite Fantasy Basketball Player:
Demond is new to the league, joining us by way of friendship with the Prince of all Junior Bacons, Andrew Borden.
He’s got an uphill battle this season given the scant keepers options that last year’s owner, Joe, left him, but with any success this year, he’ll be able to establish himself as a serious fantasy basketball contender.
Fallen Soldiers
Oscar Jimenez
Tswizzle Swishers
2015-2016 Champion
2015-18
Ryan Loveless
Durant's Love Makes
Me Harden
2012-2013 Champion
2012-15, 2017-2021
